Being an avid golfer, I relate to the initial discovery of the dreaded CPO notice. My plans for a nice leisurely cruise around the course just changed. Rather than being able to drive up to my ball without ever getting more than three feet from the cart just turned into an automatic drive off the tee to the side of the fairway (or rough…or woods…or pond) opposite the cart path. That means multiple trips from the cart to my ball and back… with each stroke: One to find my ball; two back to get the rangefinder I left on the cart; three to get some clubs; four to get the one I forgot; five to get my beer I left over there… you get the idea. Who needs all this exercise? This is about golf, not a workout. If I wanted a workout, I would have gone to the gym…and I didn’t!

I like staying close to the cart. If they would allow it, I would (sometimes do) drive it right up next to the green. After all, the cart is where I keep all my stuff. I have my phone in there. I need that to check for Facebook status updates throughout my round and to text my friends. My music is there. Some of these purists complain when I turn it up loud enough to hear it across the fairway. I just don’t like dealing with bitchy golfers on MY day at the course. My beer is in my cart. Golf tends to make me really thirsty. I need to stay close to my beer. My snacks are there. I’ve had squirrels steal my crackers when I ventured too far from my cart. I just need to be with the cart. That’s all.

So, to all you golf superintendents, please consider our plight when you decide to punish us with your CPO sign. We’re the same bunch on inconsiderate dudes that would bitch if our ball landed in a rutted out fairway from golf carts on a wet day. We’d probably be annoyed by the muddy tracks on an off the path, too. Dead grass….how in the hell is that acceptable? The fact is….you just can’t please us. We want pristine conditions every time we come to the course, and when you try to preserve those conditions we bitch and complain and say bad things about your pro. Now,….let’s talk about the pro. Well, maybe we’ll save that for later. I’m guessing we’ll never resolve this issue. What are your thoughts?

Jimmy Biggs of Crow Creek on CPO

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